Why I Don’t Write About ‘The 10 Best Ways To …..’

To put the cards out on the table, I’ll say out loud that some of you struggle with the floating essence of this blog and others like it, and are just straight up frustrated when you don’t get ‘The 10 Best Ways To ….’  Although that’s what’s expected for an article to be successful, I want my readers to know why many writers are not able to live up to that expectation.  Here’s what’s going on.  

When an essay writer forms a thought, a poem, a blog – any sort of sharing – what is being offered up is a partial piece of something.  The writing might represent a feeling that comes up now and again, but not always the primary thought, and definitely not the only thought.  It is a form of writing that catches the random fleeting experiences that are rarely spoken of, and yet real, which if given words, might become important and pivotal heart things.  This form of writing is far removed from, say, cell phone manuals and the heavily digested step by step ‘how to’s.  The reason essay writing comes across to many as ‘fingernails on chalkboard’.  Mistrust the grays?  You won’t wish to hear thoughts at the parimeter, and are right now saying to yourself “What is she talking about?” 

A parable has the capability of easily being twisted and turned – morphed into hideous suggestions on how to live, if taken in by someone who resists the wider scope of things.  A parable is only a part of the story and still Jesus himself used this form of communication.  As important as noticing the way he delivered information is to notice how he did not say things.  He did not give the outlined dissertation on faith, prayer and woman in leadership.  Why?  Because it is The Listener, The Curious, The Pondering Soul that is open, and from this, all of life becomes a teacher.    In other words, the simple big picture, if noticed, changes us.  I like Jesus’ style.  I also like the ways of poets, musicians and essay creators.  Speaking to the things rarely noticed awakes my fixated existence and gives me a toehold of hope and direction. 

And so for the one who wonders why I write on cancer when I am clearly not on my last breath, I say to you, cancer is not a destination, it is a hovering roommate –  moves in uninvited and shows up at will.  Leaves remote and occasional internal experiences that are less harmful when shared.

Why write about faith?  Because holy sightings of the unknown are brought to focus best when expressed. 

For the person who wonders why I write about parenting and marriage when I’m clearly still searching to know more, it’s because I learn most from the placement of writen word.  I share because we learn from each others mistakes and struggles.  I write with the hope that, in turn, you will share yourself.

Why write about burning dinner, as I would never write 10 Best Ways To Burn Dinner, although now that I think about it, I’ve got at least 100.  I say ‘tell me what you’re most ashamed of – we will find a closeness we’ve not known’. 

This is writing for me. 

A process of vulnerabilities,

of incomplete ideas,

of the unspoken. 

The choice I made when I started blogging. 

That great exchange. 

‘What Will Others Think’



There are no ’10 Best Ways’ for that.

And so I meander.  



Blog: And why It’s Important.

Today is the birthday of my blog.  She is four years old.  I started writing just after breast was carved from chest wall.  I thought to myself, what do I have to hide now? My personal business is out there. Why not share my heart as well.

A writer, to be effective, must have a bit of ‘I could care less’.  Almost a pebble in the shoe, stickers in the socks – and be ok about that.  Must care more about the writing creation then what others think, because writers are forever judged as being all about themselves, passing on embarrassing tmi, thought of as arrogant, and sometimes painfully boring.  I had someone say to me once ‘…anyone who writes a book is a Narc’. Blogging is a wonderful exercise in learning to let the naysayers say on, and not abandon the self,   It is an opportunity for authentic sharing.  A chance to care deeply about what is being shared.  Care more about the potential good the writing might have then the criticisms.

Many of you who read this blog are also writers but have never blogged.  Here’s the deal. There are things about your life I will never experience.  And I never will unless you share them with me.  There are things in my life that I secretly believe make me a freak of nature.  And will continue to think so until you put yourself out there and share yourself, and to my shock, you have been there, too.

If I have one message on this blog I hope to put out there – loud and clear –  it’s this:

Your story matters!

Your life matters!

Your opinions matter!

Good people, share yourselves.  Place honest heart words out there.  Blog.

Sharing Yourself

I Love seeing
People happy
People laughing
People singing
People dancing
Full of life
Full of light
Expressing themselves with love
Sharing their gifts and themselves
With everyone around them
There are a lot of people
Who have forgotten their voices
Who have forgotten how to truly sing
Who have forgotten how to dance
Who have forgotten how to be joyful
To share themselves with love
So it does my heart good
To see people who have that light inside
And don’t mind sharing it
With everyone else around them

by Ahmad Cox